Friday, May 31, 2013
I burned the toast this morning. Burned the toast! And then I cried.
I've done this before. My married life started by leaving Mississippi and traveling in a U-Haul to the wild wild West. Three years of living in Los Angeles, California taught me a lot about myself. I learned that I'm terrified of freeways (backroads for three years). I learned that I crumble in the face of natural disasters (earthquakes...first experience with that to follow). I learned that I am horrible with domesticity. But the most important thing I learned about myself, was that I am a Southern girl at heart. My visions are always much more idealistic than realistic, which played to my advantage as a teacher. I was always able, it seemed, to bring out the best in my students. But now that I've taken off my teacher hat and replaced it with the mom and wife hat, it seems my idealstic visions get in the way of reality. Oh how I've always longed to be Bree Van De Kamp... it appears, though, that I am nowhere near her. More of a mix between Lynette and Lucy.
There is something else I learned about myself as I ventured as a newlywed to California, and then three years later to Tampa, Florida. Starting over is hard, but it can be done. I left both of those places with relationships I still hold dear today. Patience is not my biggest virtue. In fact, it's not even my smallest. So, starting over is always tough for me at first. Every friend left behind, every reminder of my former life, every facebook or instagram post from Mississippi is a crushing blow to my realization that relationships and foundations take time to build.
So, today, in honor of my morning of burning the toast.... and the tears that followed.... I am giving myself a mission. A challenge. I've always been fond of a good challenge. I WILL become Bree Van De Kamp. From Lynette to Bree. Just you wait!